November 2011
1 post
I never have anything to write about.
Never have anything to say.
August 2011
1 post
June 2011
1 post
May 2011
1 post
This heat is killing me
It’s so hot right now and I know it’s only getting worse. I can’t afford air conditioning. I can’t afford to buy a fan. I probably can’t afford to keep the ceiling fan going. I don’t know how I’m going to survive the summer in these conditions or with so little money. I can’t think in this heat. I have finals to study for, but I just keep sweating...
April 2011
1 post
So, here's where I stand today.
I haven’t used this thing in a long time. There are a few reasons for that; primarily because at the time I started this blog I was at an unpleasant place in my life and this was the place for me to record all of my emo whimpers and to feed my ravenous loneliness. I stopped the blog after realizing how idiotic I was being, and shortly after, my life improved radically and it’s never...
March 2010
1 post
Adventures in Solipsism 1: Wendy
There is a girl, twenty-something, with boney shoulders resting against the glass barrier of a bus stop. She is thin, rail thin, but retains generous female proportions. Hot pink sweatpants ride low on her abdomen, allowing a single, forest green thong strap to peek through. A T-shirt, loose and flattering, billows silently in the fresh autumn breeze. Black, low-cut, displaying a xylophone of ribs...
February 2010
2 posts
Like Pangea
It is well believed and thorougly established by evidence that once, very long ago, all the land on earth was lumped together on a super-continent we now call Pangea. Life formed and evolved on this massive land mass, completely oblivious to plate tectonics and the inevitable fact that one day, Pangea would be ripped apart (very slowly) and spread between bodies of water.
We think of continents...
December 2009
2 posts
Blackened Sea
When the headache siezes me, it takes me beneath the sea. Bricks tied to my ankles, it drags me down down down to a place where light does not reach. Swimming in inky blue, fish swirl around me, all with the face of you. And they whisper to me sounds of broken memories of swingsets and near-sex and cigarettes and all the times I almost said “I love you”. But things go black and...
horrorvaccuihorrorvaccuihorrorvaccui
comatoseslumber:
I started this collection of sorts a few months back. Slithering through entry to entry, I found that with each new cluster of information I surmised to drudgingly slather onto the page for other people’s enjoyment, I felt more hollow about the state of my little curio cabinet of a blog. Although every individual character had been typed out by my scarred dumpy fingers, gazed...
November 2009
18 posts
Ever have one of those nights...?
Where you start out searching for a glimmer of clarity and all you find at every turn is absurdity staring you in the face, ready to eat you alive? And it does.
Yeah.
It’s one of those nights. I really don’t think I should bother searching for clarity anymore.
A Cheap Purple Notebook [6-8]
six
Truth #1: There is no truth.
Truth #2: “It’s all bullshit and it’s bad for ya.” “Bullshit is the glue that holds us together.”
Truth #3: omitted
Truth #4: omitted
Truth #5: omitted
Truth #6: Raptors are awesome.
Truth #7: No one will ever perceive things in the same way or completely understand. All we have is approximations.
Truth #8: omitted
...
You know what the most satisfying thing in the...
When you close a notebook you’ve been writing in, and can feel the difference in weight from the time you bought the thing.
1 tag
Observations in the dark
Not an hour ago, the power surged back on for most of the town of Flagstaff. It went out around 8 o’clock. I was in the cafeteria at the time, happily munching on a brownie, sipping hot chocolate, and doodling a very angry werewolf in my purple notebook. And then everything turns black without warning.
Every single girl in the place shrieks simultaneously, and the harpie screech is...
A Cheap Purple Notebook [1-5]
As I mentioned before, I recently bought the cheapest possible notebook and set of pens from Target about two weeks ago. Ten pages are now crunchy with the heavy black ink of a ballpoint pen, littered in words and doodles. It’s all the incomprehensible nonsense that I’m full of, a lot of the material too raw and sensitive for the Internet. Here is the material just calloused enough to...
Rule #2
A few days ago I went to Target because I didn’t have anything else to do. Watching the stream of humanity flow around me often keeps me entertained. I wandered into the school supplies isle and bought a package of pens for 99 cents and a purple spiral-bound notebook for the same price. Ever since I’ve been writing in it feverishly, hoping to fill it — cover to cover — with...
“With glitter in her pores
She lined up with all the other whores
And let a boy...”
– Lonely Sunday night poetry.
When loneliness becomes solipsism
I’m having one of those nights that’s like a bad recurring dream. The window, thrown right open into the languid breeze reveals nothing but darkness speckled with streetlights. A strange phenomena transpires in the dorm: silence. Friday night and everyone is out doing what every good college kid does: drinking and fucking. A quiet dorm is enough to make anyone feel like they’re...
Reblog this and tell me about yourself.
cwphoto:
I want to know more about my followers.
Something tells me this is going to go unread like the majority of what I write, but maybe I’m just pessimistic. Probably. But the question is somehow complelling, even if I don’t know how to answer it.
This is the point where I begin to delete, rewrite, delete, rewrite, delete, rewrite. Why is it so hard for to write about myself?...
October 2009
9 posts
"Is anybody out there?!"
…The girl screamed into the void.
“In grays and blues and other monochrome hues
They marched back and forth to pay...”
– My first attempt at poetry in years. I’m terrible at it, but I’m trying. This took me forever to write. Ugh.
Has anyone ever told you you're perfect? :]
Alec: Has anyone ever told you you’re perfect? :]
Now I’m all smiling and teary-eyed. Thanks, Alec.
You’re seriously one of the awesome human beings I know. I don’t know how I’ve avoided falling in love with you. For reals. You better come visit me soon, fag.
Alec, ily <3
ur prtty
spookcat:
I was told I was pretty today by someone who I don’t mind telling me that. Funny _ I haven’t looked in a mirror since I put my eyeliner on, but I want to now…. Just to see what he saw.
Chesha, you’re beautiful — never doubt that, okay?
I get these moments from time to time. They’re few and far between and rarely spoken by the opposite gender. I can’t really pin...
September 2009
5 posts
If you're not pissing people off, you're not doing...
Every single day I get criticism about who I am and what I do. Every day. For those who do not know: I am an artist, writer — creator first and foremost. I am fenced into a college-campus world consisting for two and a half miles, wherein other artists must be ghosts because I can’t see them. Downtown, dull little galleries line the sidewalks — filled with ceramics and paintings...
Buses and Greek Sculpture
The campus bus takes me everywhere I need to go, so long as the place rests along the 2 and a half mile stretch of NAU. If you’ve ever been on a bus, I’m sure you can imagine the scene. People are folded almost geometrically into their seats, plugged into iPods or thumbs rolling across a cell phone. Some are standing with one hand closed around a metal bar, the other hand cradling a...
Rain, Rain, Rain
The weather here has been getting progressively colder, marching toward winter day by day. Today was the fist day it had rained in several weeks — just heavier than a mist but lighter than a downpour. From the bus window I noticed an interesting phenomenon play out on the sidewalks outside. People ducked beneath the eaves of houses, sheltered themselves in buildings and bus stops, huddled...