So, here’s where I stand today.
I haven’t used this thing in a long time. There are a few reasons for that; primarily because at the time I started this blog I was at an unpleasant place in my life and this was the place for me to record all of my emo whimpers and to feed my ravenous loneliness. I stopped the blog after realizing how idiotic I was being, and shortly after, my life improved radically and it’s never been the same since.
I met Raymond, fell in love, and we set off to improve our lives together. And so I haven’t had much room to weep tears of angst into my morning cereal since then. Life is good but hard now. I’m a grown-up, it seems. I do things like order books of checks, floss my teeth, make doctors appointments by myself, buy my own groceries, pay rent and fret about money.
Up until recently I worked basically full time at Walmart while being a full time student. I swear, that was one of the hardest times for me, if only because I never slept, panicked when I didn’t have time to study, ate like shit because there was no time to cook and I was constantly gasping for breath in an endless sea of responsibility.
I remember, one morning I woke up for school at 7am as usual. The night before I had worked until 1am and didn’t get home until 2. I sat up in bed and just started crying because of how tired I was and how I just wanted one day off. That’s pretty much when I decided to quit my job.
Now things are more easy going, even though money is extremely limited. I need a new job before the summer, but otherwise I’m concentrating on my education and trying to create a good home life for Raymond and I. I love him very much and I wouldn’t be the newly independent person, happy person I am without him. Life is beautiful and I am an extremely lucky person to have been blessed with all of the wonderful things and people in my life.
I don’t know where this blog is going to go from here, or if it’ll even get going again. But I just thought I should let you know, that I’m happy and pretty much all the shit that you see below this post is now irrelevant to me.
